Mess up your marketing in 10 easy steps

If you’re afraid of success, here are ten tips to guarantee marketing failure for your enterprise…
We’re passionate about marketing and have shared tips and strategies to help you get your marketing right – within social, for the multi-screen generation, as well as imminent trends, but change is difficult and sometimes risky. To ensure your enterprise never becomes a notable brand, here are ten tips to rocket your way to the bottom.




1 – Ignore Your Customers

Your customers are probably already talking about your brand online, within social media, forums, or on any one – or all – of the available review sites, but don’t bother engaging with them. You’ve built your business without their input, and you certainly don’t need it now.

2 – Disregard Your Competition

Today’s industries have too much innovation through iteration, and just because your competitor launched a new product or service that you know you could do better, it’s best to just forget about them. They’ll probably go away.

3 – Forget Focusing

Everyone in the world needs your product – heck, if only 1% of China buys it, you’ll be rich. Make sure you market to the masses – huge volumes of unfocused ads that don’t offend – or appeal to – anyone. It’s strictly a numbers game, and the more bland, impersonal advertising you put out there, the better it will be for your enterprise

4 – Avoid Analytics

Sure, the internet has provided an amazing volume of data to track your audience’s interests:  how they found your site, what they do when they’re on it, and other essential information, but it’s not really ‘real’ is it? You can’t see these customers, and who knows if they’re legit or just those darn spidery-bots?

5 – Ignore Mobile

You don’t like looking at websites on your tiny smartphone screen, so you know your audience won’t like it, either. The predictions of over $2 billion in online shopping by the end of 2016 are merely suppositions of the mobile industry. There’s no way the 3.5 billion people with a smartphone are going to spend that kind of money via their phone, right?

6 – Be Anti-Social

There’s no value in social media, and the proof is on your MySpace page. You gave it a try and found the ROI wasn’t there, so what’s the point in trying a new platform? Your target audience seems to have ADHD, and they’re just going to jump to the bigger, better platform soon. It’s too hard to hit this moving target, so why bother?

7 – Optimize, Schmoptimise

You’ve been online long enough to have earned your spot with Google, so what’s the point in cutting into your bottom line by spending unnecessarily on effective SEO? From what you know about Panda and Penguin, it’s impossible for an SEO expert to improve your ranks, so you’re better off not doing it.

8 – Don’t Test

The copy you created to launch your website in 2003 was fantastic then, so why bother messing with it now? A/B testing costs money, and you’re just going to confuse your audience by having multiple versions of the same page, even if they won’t see both versions.

9 – Stay Stagnant

Updating your website is too much hassle and effort, and people will complain when you change things around. Sure, you’re still vulnerable to the heartbleed bug, and maybe some of your content has been de-indexed due to duplication, but the rest of it’s fine, and if your audience was worried about security, would they really be online?

10 – Skip Strategy

There are a handful of internet billionaires who started their business from their mom’s garage, and they didn’t have a business strategy  or marketing plan, so why should you? Your business runs on intuition and instinct, and so far, so good. Trust your gut.

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